"If tears could build a stairway
and thoughts a memory lane
I'd walk right up to heaven
and bring you home again" - unknown



I have never had my own experience with euthanasia of a pet. I've had pets in the past that had to be put to sleep before, but it was when I was young. I'd over hear my adult family members saying things like, "_____ isn't doing well", and that"_____ isn't going to make it". I'd get the hint that in some way my pet was sick, but I was never exposed to what euthanasia was. I'd wake up in the morning and find that my pet had somehow vanished, and be told, "_____ is in a better place now, and isn't hurting anymore."

On November 21, 2009 I had to go through this experience...

My mate and I discovered that our stray cat named Takal was sick. As a stray who we tried to take in, he would wander and explore outside for days, food and water being left out for him, and return to us with happy meows, rubs and head-bonks as greeting. My mate was going to schedual an appointment to get him looked at, but his sickness just got worse - so instead, we rushed him into a local Pet Hospital. Once we checked in and finally got seen, the findings were awful... I don't want to go over them.
We asked the veterinarian what options we had that could save him. With a regretful face, the veterinarian told us the chances were slim that he'd survive just an overnight stay at the hospital to run tests. Out of desperation to not lose Takal we were about to go for it anyways, but we thought it over more. After much much time of thinking... and hoping, and wishing...Painfully we realized the best option...

While my mate left to put money on her card to pay for the euthanasia, I was left alone with Takal during his last moments. I sat there with him stroking his soft fur, playing with his tail gently, telling him how handsome he was, how sweet he was, and how much he was loved... He tried standing up regardless of how weak and in pain he was, and give those same old loving nuzzles as he always did. He'd flop over and expose his white underbelly... All the more causing me to break down further because of what was about to happen to him. Soon my mate returned and also went about petting him, but the vet came in and it was time. With a kiss good-bye to his soft head, he was taken away. My mate couldn't bare to see him lose his life, and I was so upset and stunned by the whole experience I didn't think of asking to go back with him. And it is this I feel most guilty about. If I could turn back time to at least that moment, I would have gone with him.


Rest in peace, sweet little Takal. Your moms' won't ever forget how cute you were.



(Takal's remains were decided to be cremated.)